As The Voices Faded

Maybe trying is a stupid idea. 

Okay, he knew that Alex wasn't gonna go flocking to him any soon, he established that thought long before, but let's just say... his mind was already supplying the unneeded doubts. Zephyr wanted to be persistent, pestering, to prove that he wasn't just trying and ditching if it doesn't work out the first try.  Though, hard not to when he had his spinelessness.

His thoughts negatively supplied, Why bother? He doesn't want you around, so no point. He could easily agree there was no point in trying if the guy wasn't cooperating, turn back to the lesson and pretend that this short-live note passing never did happy. It would be easy, safer choice and maybe the best one. Probably was the best for both of them. 

As the note again landed on his desk, he picked it up and there was a small sigh as the note's last answer. Fine, Alex could have his wish... as much as it stun. Just a tiny bit. Just a tiny, tiny bit. He could barely feel it, especially over the urge to face plant unceremoniously  into his book and say Blew it big. Good job, Ze. It was game over long before he realized, because apparently, being persistent or doing something he wanted though there was a risk, wasn't a do-able thing. Not. At. All.

Comforting thought, no? That five years later he still couldn't stand on his own feet without quaking in worry. The guy who he wished wasn't his ex-best friend, sitting right next to him as peeved off as ever; here he was, for once attempting something, only to chicken out because his pessimistic self filled in the doubts. His lips sealed shut, and letting the doubtfulness whisper more into his ear. If he couldn't do it then, how could he do it now? The answer was he couldn't so he shouldn't bother.

A metallic scrape sound against the floor brought him to, out of his pathetic woes. He raised an eyebrow, glancing at Reiner who was sneering at Alex, and still peeved, Alex facing the front. Ze gestured to the smile, with a confused face, but the response was the brunette quickly pulling out his notes an--

"So Mr. Wallace- care to explain what's so interesting about the black of the class? I believe I written the notes up front, so would you please...?" 

Ah. Okay, so he knew why Reiner did. There was a small chuckle throughout the room, as he turned back around and wanted to sink into his seat. Little or a lot, laughter was laughter and oh geez. He ran his fingers through his hair, none too subtle about his obviously glance at Alex before... Hm, wouldn't hurt to write one more note.

'I'm sorry.' Short and simple, and at least he was able to squeezed in an apology- that was the best thing to end it off with, if they were going to go down as a bitter end. 

He was a loser, sue him. Zephyr lit up a tiny bit when... well, the first words Alex said to him since he came in. It was something and don't you dare tell him that it wasn't. The guy could of easily brush off the last note but, heheh, well he said something. No matter how little, it wasn't too negative. "Fine, no more." He wished he pulled off a cool look, as if he didn't care but the brunette had the feeling he gave something more akin to a dorky, dimpled smile that even a tongue bite couldn't even stop.

Ahhh, Look at the board before he notices. Ze quickly thought, as he finally turn to the board ( or moreso ducked his head at his own notes because a smile was too suspicious, and he didn't want Ms. Butting-In to point out and ask why the smile). Okay, now it was time to focus on the lesson on hand. No point to sacrifice more time with his fretting, because the writing on the board were more puzzling than help and no matter which way he tilt his head, they weren't making sense. Hm, maybe it would be easier to just let his mind drift for a bit and not scurry around his textbook to figure out what the teacher was babbling about now.

His embarrassment died down, but still Zephyr felt a bit silly. But at least it wasn't the note the woman caught, since he would probably... okay, saying that he would die would be dramatic, yet it'll be close; the literature teacher would probably threaten with detention or maybe reading the note outloud. The note reading wouldn't been as bad as landing the detention, since he didn't have the time after school to waste in it. 

Green eyes were half-lidded, partly from boredom- wait, mostly from boredom as he twirled his pencil. Don't get him wrong, he loved literature and all its glory; but listening a teacher natter off about some old artsy-fartsy poet from the late 1600s wasn't the most seat-gripping thing he heard of. Plus, it didn't help the more he tried to listen, the more it sounded she was speaking like one of those adults in that old movie, Charlie Brown. Nothing but the blahs. 

He wasn't really aware of the fact the glares his lovely little girlfriend was sending to Alex. Yes, Sydney didn't like the little exchange going on, but what could she do? Well, what could she do and not get Ze involved. Hm... while she was well aware of the run in with 'Alex' and the fact her boyfriend might had a history with him. She wasn't sure what kind but she wasn't taking her chances. All she could give was sharp warning glares and hope her baseless bad vibe would disappear. Whatever. She went back to jotting down notes and get down with this dull class. 

A sigh of relief fell when the bell signaled the end of the class period- though the next class was math, the bane of his high school career and the only class ran more laps around his head to leave him feeling more dazed than before. At least his teacher was a decent one, so maybe it won't be so bad. When dumped his things haphazardly back into his bag, from the corner of his vision did he see the fleeing blond braid and voice that rudely shouted after him. Ze was ready to follow Alex out, since in all honestly, the guy was still acted peeved (though he did have a reason) and maybe he lighten up a bit on him. He did keep to himself most of the class, though at times there was the urge to lean over and make needlessly comments about the lesson.

But as soon as he hitched the backpack up his shoulders, Sydney grabbed his hand with a coy little smile. "Gonna walk me to class~?" Ze frowned, not because of the request, since it was a thing they did but the fact if he did, he'll probably wouldn't get a chance to catch up with Alex and instead have to rush to his next class. He gave a small nod, and with a small peck, she was tugging him out the door.

Would it be a terrible thing that he didn't play role the listening ear to his girlfriend's... uh, she call it her troubles, but he saw it more as useless drama; instead, he was glancing around every now and again as they walked, his usually hums of agreement as the brunette vented. 

A wave of goodbye as preppy girl disappeared into the classroom and he turned on his heels. So he had a bit of time before the next class, though there was still the task of retrieving his textbook from Austin's locker- which happen to be the opposite way of where he had to go. Amazing. Taking a turn at the end of the hallway, there was still as students were scurrying into their respective classes and-- oh?  He slowed down his pace, and with a curious glance, Ze called out, "Alex? Looking for a class or something?" Well, he could spare for a few moments to point him in the right direction or something, right? Beside, being a minute or two late was nothing too bad. He could always play the 'locker jammed up again' excuse, which probably come out true because how crammed things are in Austin's locker. "Hm, though you should hurry along since the Hall monitor will be out and about soon." They might go easy on him because Alex was new but... eh, if it was that cranky old history teacher patrolling, that won't make a difference for anybody.

Okay, maybe it was a little too hopeful to think Alex would become a little more friendly. Actually, now that he thought it- it was pretty naive to think that would happen. The confidence he had possessed faltered with just a simple look, and Alex's words were snippy. Zephyr did get that the blond can definitely hold a grudge and had every reason to but it was disheartening all the same.

Partly because how close they use to be than anything compare to now, where their friendship was nonexistent. Friends come and go, but the way they separated was a bit more forceful than he liked. Cut off, swift and clean, by his father no less. Truth be told, his father wasn't at the nicest man on the block- self titled "manly man", the guy was quiet, calculating and quite the conservative. A true lawyer through and through. Even with this in mind, never once did Ze ever question him; there was a time when he was younger, he aspired to be like him. But now that he thought about it... at what cost? 

He known the blond since their first year in school, when they were young and bright-eyed. That friendship lasted until they became curious, prepubescent boys who wanted to try out what a kiss was. His father wasn't have none of that, and thus the friendship ended rather abruptly. The first time they talked to each others was when Austin made show of an ass of himself to taunt Alex. It was unsettling to think how shitty he been, especially all these years. Avoiding him, eyes down and never once saying a thing, the only time he did was when he pressured into his friend's charade of teasing. 

So of course, he wasn't expecting no instantaneous friendship from the blond, nor anytime soon. But he'll try, at least.  

The amiable smile disappeared into an uncertain frown, Ze tried to shake off the awkwardness that wanted to bubble up with a small shrug, "Uh, it just looked like you were lost or something."  There was a small chuckle, still unsure, as he continued, "I mean, I could show you, since I got a couple minutes to spare?" Alex looked ready to walk out of the conversation, and sure enough, he actually did, leaving Ze to really feel the awkwardness. God, should I even... There wasn't really a point to run to Austin's locker, was there? Either way, he was going to be late, so it was best he just... "Tsk. Alex..." He mumbled under his breath with a sigh, turning on his heels to the direction he just came from as he sifted through the crowds to get to him. "I was going to get my textbook but... my classroom is in this direction. I could show you, since the bathroom is right by it." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I know you don't want to talk to me, and that's fine... but I get the feeling  the Old Lady is on duty today and it wouldn't be smart." While 9/10 bets were Alex would still be the stubborn guy he always been the refuse to help, he could still give it one last shot. Just to be nice. He had a long way to go with fixing things, but like he'll say for the millionth time: baby steps.