As The Voices Faded

Hope did raise when Alex stopped dead in his steps, and the nervous beat of his heart started to pound in his ears. He didn't brace himself for what was about to be said, as his feelings were clear in his eyes- rejection was the only thing to expected from this, but Ze was truly a optimistic.

Who was he kidding though. Being the closest he's been to Alex in five years, face to face, he can see no relief he was hoping. As well seeing how much the blond has change; while puberty must of been taking its time on him, Ze could see the baby fat from childhood leaving a more shapely, but... was it bad if he said more beautiful look? Alex has always been the handsome sort, with lighter green eyes with long lashes and a face framed just right by his soft blond hair; he looked awfully mature, flicking away the cigarette butt and with a small glance at his lips, they didn't look any less kissable as they did when he was young. Curiously though, in the back of his mind, he wondered if they were just as soft and easy to melt.

Again, anything sensible seemed to flown else where, because nothing but babble came out from his mouth, "Lie? B-but, lying... I'm not..." But Alex wasn't finished. If hurt and regret wasn't apparent in his eyes before, they were now as a twisting pain felt in his gut. Letting what Alex continue, he wanted to slip away. This what he been afraid of confronting him, after so long; it was better daydreaming that one day they could be friends, but right now? The other had nothing wanting to with him. He couldn't say it was breaking his heart but... tell him why his eyes started to water?

Ze ran his fingers through his hair, looking away with red cheeks and trying to shake off the urge to be reluctant, to back off before his say. "W-Why you say that? That I don't know... you're just assuming things, Alex." A little edge to his voice, from the corner of his eyes he noticed Alex already started off with walking away, "I really did miss you. Things didn't go as I thought, I'm sorry but Alex.. don't.. God, wait." Take long strides forward, he grabbed his wrist as his eyebrows knitted together with his desperate expression and swallowing back the urge to pull him into a hug instead. "I'm not a lying about this. Alex, I'm not. Don't go- I wanted to know how are you... not... Alex, p-please, I really did..."

Once again, the situation was slipping through his fingertips and once again, Ze was powerless to stop it. Holding onto that silly little, naive hope a bit too long, the crushing reality he tried ton avoid was thrusted into his face. He didn't know what hurt more- rejection or the moment Alex slapped his hand away and the words that followed. Everything stung. As his thoughts concluded with a 'Congrats with the newest screw up', and that all there was left for him to go, leave the blond alone, to deal.

But his emotions were stubborn. With the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, a hand was still outreached for Alex's turned back as the hopelessness he was so very use to set in. "...Maybe you're... right." Ze gave a small sigh, balling his hand into fist as he quietly agreed, although, not wholeheartedly so. There was a more-hushed, soft chuckle that left his lips, chasing down any stray tears with the heel of his palm but a small smile manage to wiggle its way past. "M'sorry, you're probably right. But, I wanna..." He started to lose voice, again as the distance started to grow between them. A tiny wish, though. Came in a small whisper "Can I at least start to miss you?"

He stilled his tongue, but there was so much more he wanted to say. Pulling his hoodie up, covering up his red eyes and flushed cheeks, as hindsight kicked in. I let myself be scared into a choice again.... He turned on his heels, heading the opposite direction; he needed some time alone. Been a long while since he wanted to cry, at least like this and he was for sure about not letting anyone see him. A deep breath, dragging his feet as they led him to wherever and eyes only on the sky. I need to fix that. Soon. Show him I did changed in good ways... or at least prove it to myself I can. Of course, a doubt was there but... it was a dream worth thinking. Maybe do it- definitely doing.

Just give him the time.

Asked anybody that associated themselves with him, most definitely they would mention that something was up with him; sure, Ze was pretty much known for his quiet demeanor but... the pass couple of days, from his 'best friends', Reiner and Austin, to his girlfriend, everyone seem to taken the burnt of his silence. As if wiggling out words and stuff from him, more of an effort to drag him along to thing, as if he was distancing himself everyone. But as confusing at it is, most just brush it off as some weird mood swing, and the friends that were with him that day when he saw Alex, written it off as embarrassment and "Just give him a few days, he'll come around".

On the otherhand, maybe he was trying distance himself? Ze wasn't sure, to tell the truth. Just that being around his so called friends left an uneasy feeling now, and he started to question- why the hell were he friends with these people? How the hell did this happen? So more and more, he started to hang out less and less with them. But that wasn't the only that he realized. Alex has been in his thoughts lately, and its starting to get kind of scary how much his thoughts were occupied by him. He had an itch to see him again, despite being told by the blond himself to stay the fuck away. Actively, he started looking for him the streets, and even came by his house- his old house to be exact, only to find it unoccupied and on sale.

He needed to see him. He has to see him. For what reason other than want? Ze couldn't answer.

But on the lighter side of things though- he finally had his braces off. Took a while, wearing the blasted metal rails in his teeth, but coming in that morning and the compliments on his now straighten teeth, it was worth it as he took a little pride in it. Slipping into class, he went unnoticed as the happy-go-lucky teacher natter off about some new student and 'exciting' new things they were going to learn as he slid into his usual seat next to the window. Ze turned behind to chat with his girlfriend and Reiner, earning a quick kiss on the cheek as a good morning greeting, and an eyeroll from the brunette as took out the books from his bag.

Then it happen. Ze still had his head turned away from, quietly chating about the movie he saw on tv over the weekend, not really paying attention as he felt unusually social today. Until he heard "Alexander." He froze and pausing in mid-sentence, turning to the front with wide eyes.

Well this was.... uh, unexpected. But by the small flutter of his heart, and ending the conversation, while fully turning to the front, attention on the blond. Alex must of not spotted me yet... for his gaze next landed on him. Should he be excited? Or nervous? He couldn't decide, a flurry of feelings assaulted him and left him feeling more confused. Ze raised his hand, almost waving it for attention. "There's an open one right here!" The words left his mouth before he could stop but at the same time... he didn't lower his hand and maybe a small smile playing on his lips. Maybe Alex gotten over what happen that day? He certainly can't hold a grudge forever.

It took an certain amount of effort, ignoring the curious glances from around and not feeling the least bit uncomfortable- which was a lie, because if anything, he felt squirming away from the partial attention of the onlookers. Sparing a glance back, there was a troubling look on Reiner's face, something would rather he pushed the back of his mind for the time being; he could worry about the interrogation from his supposed best friend later.

He did realize, however, Alex wasn't so keen on sitting next him. A part of him was feeling a satisfied glee as the teacher gave the reluctant blond a gentle push his way but... that confirmed one thing- he wasn't on the forgiven side quite yet. Long the rest lost interest, the sounds of shuffling paper as people took out their notebooks for class notes and taking textbooks, flipping the pages but Ze's eyes studied his ex-friend as he made his way down the aisle. There wasn't no smug grin on his face, nor any face that gave away the guilt hanging around- the gaze was inquisitive than out of nervousness, with the hope of catching contact and the barceless smile slipped away into something more softer, genuine as he whispered a quiet, "Hey."

He was excited. Yeah, he knew Alex didn't exactly forgave for what he let happen, and obviously not in a good mood, the way he dropped the satchel and never returning the smile he had on. He was excited because this saved time- no more, did he walk around the streets, with the hope that'll he run into Alex and apologized (maybe buy him some ice cream, to make it up, and all)- and he'll work on making it up. Sure, he might of been stepping out of his comfort zone, and for an old friend that didn't want him anymore...

Doubts aren't getting the best of him- Ze was building a backbone, and the first block was getting Alex back.

Hmmm... he's serious about ignoring me. The brunnette with a mission on his mind, opened a fresh page to his notebook, tearing a corner of the page and scribbling a note: Alex, since when u started comin' here? Moved recently? He folded it once, then twice; lifting his eyes finally to teacher just to see her with her back turn to write something on the board, Ze flicked the note and it landed on a page in the open textbook on his desk.